Thriving in relationship

Catherine O'Kane & Duane O'Kane

Successful, healthy relationships aren’t a fiction – with the right skillset, they are within reach of everyone. Welcome to Thrive’s Master-series ‘Thriving in Relationship’ with Duane and Catherine O’Kane.

Introduction
Episode 1

Introduction

Welcome to Thrive’s Master-series ‘Thriving in Relationship.’ With over 60 combined years of counselling experience, Duane and Catherine have transformed thousands of lives and relationships. Through this series, you’ll learn how to connect with others, stay authentic to yourself, and heal the trauma wounds from your past that impact your relationships today.
3min
Unlock Program
What is happiness
Episode 2

What is happiness

Why do we all get caught up in the pursuit of “happiness”? In this episode Duane and Catherine share an abundance of well-constructed research that has clearly shown we are happier, healthier, and live longer when we have strong relationships.  In the context of connection, we thrive and become fully alive – this is a more worthy goal than the sliver of human experience we label ‘happiness.’
7min
The power of relationship messages
Episode 3

The power of relationship messages

This episode focuses on the power of relationship messages, conveyed through body language and tone of voice. Everything we think, feel, say or do influences others. Taking responsibility for and control of, your role in this web is the key to building healthy connections.
6min
The most important question
Episode 4

The most important question

Is the universe a friendly place or not? How you answer that question for yourself will guide your approach to life, relationships, risk, and your future.
7min
How we lose ourselves in 'The basement'
Episode 5

How we lose ourselves in 'The basement'

DISCONNECTION is key to the trauma – we have nowhere to go with these painful feelings, and so we ‘lock them down’ in what we refer to metaphorically as ‘the basement’ of our psyches. We learn to separate thinking from feeling, because the feeling is so painful – it is the FEELING we put into the basement.
10min
Hello from the basement
Episode 6

Hello from the basement

Duane shares how our ‘suspicion of self’ rests in the stories that we tell ourselves to make sense of what has happened to us in our lives. Our response to the fear of being seen, judged, or rejected is powerful and helps us understand what we have locked in the basement of our psyche.
2min 18sec
Our survival strategies develop
Episode 7

Our survival strategies develop

In this chapter we will discover how our defence systems develop and uncover what we might be hiding in your basement.
7min
Two selves: Real & Unreal
Episode 8

Two selves: Real & Unreal

Are you real in your relationship? This episode focuses on an intimate glimpse into the struggle with our 2 selves and how it impacts our relationships.
20min
Acting in and out
Episode 9

Acting in and out

When we can’t stand the anxiety we are experiencing, we commit to alleviating it in an unhealthy way. Explore the types of acting out or acting in behaviours you engage in to protect yourself.
5min 40sec
Our real self is in the basement
Episode 10

Our real self is in the basement

Your body is a mess of emotion, sensation and feeling, whether you are willing to address it or not. Those feelings are looking for ways to make themselves right. We’re looking for people to blame, places to dump that guilt and shame, and unload what we already carry.
7min
The pursuer-distancer dance
Episode 11

The pursuer-distancer dance

Most often, the other is not causing your distress. The other is triggering your distress. Duane and Catherine illustrate a pattern that played out in their relationship, based on what was triggered in their basements and the automatic behaviours attached to that trigger.
20min
Redefining the problem
Episode 12

Redefining the problem

If we can’t redefine the problem nothing can change.
16min
You can only heal in relationship
Episode 13

You can only heal in relationship

The emotional discomfort and pain that we try to avoid can teach us, if we let it. The feeling of connection pulls us back into life and activates our internal connection to our core self. The more real we feel to ourselves, the more we perceive others accurately.
6min
Five skills of emotional responsibility
Episode 14

Five skills of emotional responsibility

Learn how to enact a “contain and reflect” approach when an experience triggers something in our basement. Take an important step forward towards vulnerable communication.
26min
Step in, stay in and look around
Episode 15

Step in, stay in and look around

By undertaking this course, you’ve explored important aspects of yourself and built a toolkit that will allow you to connect with your authentic self – and to share that self with others in a genuinely real way. Reflect on your experience and know that we can learn to love one another, respect one another, and be real together.
15min